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LARDMAN 2: Season 1 - Express Elevator to Hell
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LARDMAN 2: Season 1 - Express Elevator to Hell
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Neonin
BR (Barrel Rank) 5
BR (Barrel Rank) 5


Joined: 15 Nov 2006
Posts: 2376
Location: Wolverhampton, UK

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Force of habit I think, the first guide I read recommended turning Grenadiers into tanks with that plus later game armour, and I usually shredded enemy armour with nades or bypassed it entirely with the AP ammo. I may need to rethink it this time around, I got used to having five rangers with shotguns and a stupid amount of outgoing damage potential so armour wasn't really too much of an issue!
Fri Jan 20, 2017 11:56 pm View user's profile Send private message
Tenz
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Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Posts: 2493
Location: Kent, UK

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Ah, my experiences may be tainted with the DLC that throws armoured enemies at you quite early. Having two grenadiers with Shred solves the problem nicely

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It's 106 miles to Naum, we've got a Skyguard, a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and the gunner's wearing sunglasses
Sat Jan 21, 2017 11:40 am View user's profile Send private message
Neonin
BR (Barrel Rank) 5
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Joined: 15 Nov 2006
Posts: 2376
Location: Wolverhampton, UK

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If anyone wants to import the FC characters I'm using:

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B1o1wH1c0tDVaVdpWGJIbnFaY1k

Put that into the folder:

C:\Users\<yourname>\Documents\My Games\XCOM2\XComGame\CharacterPool\Importable

You should be able to get at them then. You might need some of the cosmetic mods I've added to get them to display properly though, they are:
  • Capnbubs Accessories Pack
  • Custom Face Paints
  • Ink And Paint
  • Full Character Customisation From Start
  • More armor colors
  • Heroes Pack
  • Predator Mask
  • Plasman Camos
  • Vivid Hair Color
  • Plasman Elite Tattoos
  • Blood Ravens Space Marine Chapter Flag (for Tenz)
  • Textile Armor Patterns
  • Vanilla Clothes as Kevlar (definitely used this for Masterluke)

Sat Jan 21, 2017 11:49 am View user's profile Send private message
Subtlestrife



Joined: 28 Nov 2015
Posts: 16
Location: England

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Woo, Run and Gun! Now nobody will be safe from my badassery :D

Just need to get over this flesh wound :P
Sun Jan 22, 2017 2:04 pm View user's profile Send private message
Neonin
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Joined: 15 Nov 2006
Posts: 2376
Location: Wolverhampton, UK

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Gotta love those missions where you can just sit and farm the dumbass reinforcements who keep dropping til you get bored... Only 8 of those 38 were actually in the mission to start This wasn't the FC one, we haven't had one like that yet. Next FC mission report incoming!
Sun Jan 22, 2017 3:22 pm View user's profile Send private message
Neonin
BR (Barrel Rank) 5
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Joined: 15 Nov 2006
Posts: 2376
Location: Wolverhampton, UK

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What Do You Want Us To Do, Fetch Your Slippers For You?
After receiving an urgent transmission from the local resistance forces in the UK, Luggs had deployed a squad of Clubbers to go escort a local VIP who was in danger of being captured by the ADVENT scum back to the Avenger.

"What are we doing here again? They might have ADVENT-ised it but Wolverhampton is still a shithole," moaned Foo, looking around at the shiny yet somehow still depressing buildings with a sigh.

"It's a rescue mission, you'll love it. There's some juicy resistances' daughters we have to rescue from their virginity!" Tiger replied with a chortle.

"And you're in charge... why, exactly?"

"Cause Luggsy said so. Deal with it."

"Well I'm assuming that wanker over there waving at us is the VIP, so 'daughter' is a bit wrong..."

The squad met up with the waiting VIP, who turned out to be an engineer. Because of the urgent nature of his distress call ADVENT were aware of his general location, and that meant the squad had come in hot in case of enemies waiting. A large nearby building, some sort of office complex, looked like to would provide some decent cover so Dodge, Tiger, Honelith, and the VIP skirted round the edge of it while Fooicus and Tenz, who was back on active duty for the first time since his injury healed, headed for the roof to get a better vantage point.

"So Tenz, how's it feel to be a real man again instead of a giant ladyboy crying like a bitch in the infirmary?" snickered Foo as they climbed up to the roof.

"You know I could shoot you right?" snarled Tenz angrily, pointing his fingers like a pistol and aiming it at Foo's head.

"It's just bantz innit?" said Foo with a hurt look.

"You use that fucking word again and I will shoot you!"

As the arguing snipers got into position Tiger called out:

"Hold, movement up ahead!"

The squad scattered for the best cover they could find as an ADVENT patrol came into sight. A Sectoid screeched and ran to the side of the building, while... something... let out a series of hisses and metallic scraping noises as it clanked forward.

"What the FUCK is that?!" yelled Honelith, hefting his grenade launcher in preparation.

"Errr, some sort of robot? Holding a big-ass gun?" replied Tiger.

"It's a battlemech! ADVENT have fucking 'mechs!" yelled Tenz excitedly.

"It's a bit small for a battlemech and, more importantly, it's not on our side! I'll deal with it. Off you go!" Tiger said as he motioned his GREMLIN drone forward. A few seconds later there was a sighing noise and the robot thing appeared to shut down, remaining motionless.

"Fucking hacker..." muttered Honelith as he moved forward and lobbed a grenade at the Sectoid, injuring it and destroying the wall it was hiding behind. Tenz moveed to the edge of the roof and drew his pistol, scoring a hit but not quite dropping it. Fooicus followed suit and finally it lay on the ground bleeding out, never having had the chance to use any of its mind-affecting powers on the squad.

"So can we keep it?" Dodge said as he approached the ADVENT mech, poking it carefully with the butt of his minigun.

"Dodge you crazy bastard, get away! I could only shut it down for about a minute and that's almost up!" yelled Tiger as he drew out a grenade, lobbing it at the mechs feet as Dodge got out the way in a hurry. Foo dropped off the roof and threw another grenade at it, the boom echoing through the area but still not doing enough damage to destroy the thing.

"Fucking hell, this bastard is tough! Time to twat it!" Foo called as he motioned everyone else to let rip.

"Yeah right, allow me ladies!" chcukled Dodge as he unlimbered his minigun and pumped a burst of fire into the mechs core, destroying it.

"Weren't you the one moaning about killstealing the other mission?" said Honelith as he caught up with the rest of the squad, annoyed he hadn't been able to get a shot off on the mech.

"mumblemumbledon'tknowwhatyou'retalkingaboutmumble," mumbled Dodge.

The engineer continued to keep his distance as the squad advanced toward the waiting Gal pickup area, making their way through the partly-ruined building carefully.

"Doesn't Neo come from here?" asked Dodge.

"Yeah you can tell can't you, it looks just like him..." sneered Tenz, "I feel dirty just being here."

"Awww did the liddle man touch you inappropriately in the showers?"

"Fuck you Dodge!"

"You should be so lucky navy boy!"

"Shut UP!" shouted Tiger as more ADVENT, drawn by the noise, came wandering into view. A Stun Lancer, a Trooper, and another ADVENT mech spotted the squad moving through the building and charged. Tiger got a shot off but missed as the Trooper dodged to the left, but while it had been trying to avoid him it left itself open for Foo to nail it with a sniper slug. As the mech got closer Dodge let off a burst from his minigun but didn't manage to steady himself in time and pulled wide. he made up for it by moving towards the end of the building and firing off a grenade, damaging the mech and destroying the cover the Stun Lancer had decided to hide behind. Honelith copied his actions and dropped his last grenade on the mech too, leaving it swaying slightly as buzzing electrical sparks fizzed out from its chassis.

"Look at me, I'm John Wayne!" called Foo as he rapidly drew his pistol with one hand and fired at the mech, scoring a hit. He followed that up by leveling his sniper rifle and finishing it off, the mech dropping to the floor in a flurry of mini explosions as the sniper slug tore through its central core.

"Fucking show-off..." muttered Tenz. "I've got no shot on the other one!"

"Me either!" came the call from the rest of the squad. They didn't have to wait long as the Stun Lancer came out of cover and charged towards Honelith, dodging fire form both Tiger and Tenz in the process. It leaped through a window, drew its blade, and took a wild swipe.

"Fucking HELL!" Honelith cried out as he dodged back, narrowly avoiding the swing and cringing at the buzzing sound the electrified blade made as it whistled past his ear. "Someone fuck him the fuck up!"

Tiger stood and fired in one smooth motion, nearly dropping the Lancer. Tenz moved up and lowered his sniper rifle, chortling "John Wayne my ass, I'm the Waco kid!" as he drew his pistol, fired, and took the Lancer square in the forehead, snapping its head back as it dropped to the floor.

"Ok I'm bored of this now, let's get out of here," said Tiger as he made his way out of the mostly-ruined building back onto the streets of dreary Wolverhampton. "Ok I see the LZ... fuck me, those camping bastards!" he cried out, ducking back behind cover as ADVENT forces erupted from the LZ and headed towards them. "Lancer, Trooper, and fuck me it's another snek," he called back to the squad.

"One of the last mistakes they're ever going to make. Take this fuckers!" yelled Dodge as he moved closer, fired off his last grenade, and encompassed both the Lancer and the snek in a fiery explosion, destroying their cover for the most part. Foo took a shot at the injured Lancer and killed it, prompting Tenz to try the same with the snek. Unfortunately he hadn't quite taken into account the reflexes of that particular enemy and it dodged back out of harms way.

"Fucking snakes! I'm tired of these motherfucking snakes on these motherfucking missions!"

"Then don't miss!" called Honelith with a laugh as he jumped out the building, got a flank on the snek, and tore it to pieces with his minigun.

"Get fucked you arsegobbling spaffmuncher!" came the irritated reply.

The remaining Trooper then made what could only be described as a tactical error, as rather than staying in the advantageous height position it was in it decided to try moving closer to the waiting Clubbers. Tiger quickly taught it the error of its ways, and its mangled corpse fell out of the second story window to the floor with a grisly thump.

"Right, I don't see anyone else. Let's get the fuck out of here!"

Summary
Good mission that went well due to the good mix of abilities in the squad, and of course prodigious use of explosives! Tenz earned his promotion to Corporal and picked up Lightning Hands, so more pistol goodness for him. Dodge also got promoted to Corporal and can now suppress, which will no doubt come very handy in the future!

Fight Club Awards
None this time around, everything went too well!


Sun Jan 22, 2017 4:15 pm View user's profile Send private message
DodgeIt
BR (Barrel Rank) 6
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Joined: 03 May 2004
Posts: 6828
Location: Standing proud with KingA at my feet polishing my helmet.

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I can confirm what a shithole wolverhampton is. From my miss spent youth in some of its bars and "clubs". No I only go there to catch the train.

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Mon Jan 23, 2017 8:15 am View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website MSN Messenger
Fooicus
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Joined: 16 Aug 2007
Posts: 656
Location: Leamington Spa, UK

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It's all harmless bants

I do approve of all the grenade throwingness

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Quote:
"The only thing you can do with a rowntree's fruit pastille is chew."

I resent that comment, I can think of many other things to do with a fruit pastille
Tue Jan 24, 2017 10:30 am View user's profile Send private message
Neonin
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Joined: 15 Nov 2006
Posts: 2376
Location: Wolverhampton, UK

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Recover Item - ADVENT Train (Reward: Engineer)

Team: SubtleStrife, Tenz, DodgeIt, Carter, Honelith

Description: Subtle began the scouting as usual, spotted a turret on top of the train. Carter attempted to take control of it but just succeeded in pissing it off. Tenz shot it with his pistol but then missed the kill shot with his sniper rifle. Dodge shot and missed, Honelith was more accurate but it still had one health left so Subtle lost his concealment to finish it off.

First two mobile enemies were then spotted, a snek and a Trooper. Honelith deprived the snek of cover with his grenade launcher, Tenz took a sniper shot at the Trooper and missed (83% and flanked, shame on you...) but Carter managed to hit it (57%, tut tut) and take that one down. Subtle finished off the snek with a shotgun blast to its face.

Next group uncovered is another snek, a Stun Lancer, and a Trooper. Also one of the carriages of the train their next to looks a bit explodey... Dodge lobs in a grenade which kills the Trooper, injures the Stun Lancer, deprives the snek of cover, and weakens the tasty-looking tank, leaving Tenz to finish it off and make one giant explosion. The explosion kills the Stun Lancer and leaves the snek with two health, so Subtle finishes that one off with a shotgun to the face too.

Squad moves close enough to the objective for Carter to hack the chest containing the item, though he once again fails to get a hack reward so should feel lucky you can't fail unlocking a chest...

Last group of enemies comes in sight, two Stun Lancers and a Trooper. Dodge gets an overwatch shot on one Stun Lancer, leaving it with one hitpoint. Subtle and Honelith both miss overwatch shots on the Trooper but Carter nails it before it gets into cover. Subtle runs 'n' guns to flank the remaining Lancer and unloads in its face, but leaves it with one hitpoint for a gleeful Tenz to killsteal with his sniper rifle. Honelith finishes off the remaining injured Stun Lancer with his minigun.

Promotions: Honelith got promoted to Corporal and picked up Suppression, and also got Deep Cover from the Advanced Warfare Center.

Props
A new thing, I added a mod that tracks who does what on missions and spices up the normal after-action report with new "awards", so for this mission we have:

Solo Slayer (Murdered the most aliens without help from teammates) - Subtle
Unluckiest (Missed the most likely shots) - Tenz
Sneakiest (Moved the furthest while in concealment) - Dodge
Loves Being A Turtle (Overwatched or hunkered down the most) - Honelith
Luckiest (Hit the most unlikely shots) - Carter
Made Most Attacks - Subtle
Not Bad, Kid (Lowest ranked soldier did more damage than a higher ranked soldier) - Honelith
Home Wrecker (Caused the most environmental damage) - Tenz

Fight Club Awards: None this time.


Thu Jan 26, 2017 9:01 pm View user's profile Send private message
Carter
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Joined: 06 Mar 2004
Posts: 5176
Location: Get orf moy Laaaaaaaand!

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"Luckiest Hit"?

Fair enough

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"OH NO! A BOURGEOIS BIG-BOLLOCKED BOILER!!!!! THATS ALL´╗┐ I NEED", Conker The Squirrel, 2001
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Oi may be from the West Coutry but i'm not a hobbit, a pirate or a farmer me old shagger
Fri Jan 27, 2017 12:46 am View user's profile Send private message
mdk
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Joined: 09 Jan 2006
Posts: 3272
Location: Scotland

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Nice, what's the name of that mod which tracks everything? :D

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Fri Jan 27, 2017 10:49 am View user's profile Send private message
Neonin
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Joined: 15 Nov 2006
Posts: 2376
Location: Wolverhampton, UK

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That would be Mission Award Variety
Fri Jan 27, 2017 5:36 pm View user's profile Send private message
mdk
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Location: Scotland

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Thankyou fella. :D

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Sat Jan 28, 2017 10:03 am View user's profile Send private message
Neonin
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Joined: 15 Nov 2006
Posts: 2376
Location: Wolverhampton, UK

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Defend Resistance Haven (Reward: Supply Increase)

Team: SubtleStrife, Dodge, Tiger, Fooicus, Honelith

Description: Slight change here, so apologies. This mission was a big one with way more troops than I'm used to (four extra got thrown in) and there was so much overwatch fire going on that even viewing it back and pausing it's difficult to make out who shot what. However since these shorter reports are fairly quick to do I'm going to up the number of them per week, while still having one full written one, so we can get through the campaign quicker. There's a few bits and pieces that have happened on the Strategy level I'll include in the next full write-up, but for this mission...

People shot stuff, aliens died. Subtle was injured again (heroically) and is out for 19 days assuming I don't make use of the medical stuff I have now. Honelith was also injured but was partly saved by his armour (and Tenz only questioned a few posts back why I took Blast Padding) so he's only out for 5 days. Both were nailed by Stun Lancers who definitely got theirs next turn...

Promotions: Subtle goes up to Tech Sergeant and gains Aim from the warfare center (Hunker Down gives +20 Aim next turn) as well as Implacable, giving him an extra move if he kills someone in a round. Fooicus is up to Sergeant and goes for Death From Above, while Tiger gets up to Sergeant too and gains Untouchable from the warefare center bonus (if he kills something in a round the next shot against him on the enemies turn is a guaranteed miss) as well as Scanning Protocol. Dodge becomes our first Sergeant Grenadier and takes Heavy Ordnance, so extra grenade for him!

Props
Less than eight props here because two of them went to non-FC rookies:

Too Old For This Shit (Highest ranking soldier who got shot at or hit the most) - Subtle
Most Kills In A Turn (2) - Tiger
Loves Being A Turtle - Honelith
Power Couple (Two soldiers who did the most damage while double-teaming enemies) - Subtle & Dodge
Mister Congeniality (Didn't win any awards but still contributed to mission) - Fooicus
Dealt Most Damage - Subtle

Fight Club Awards: None this time, believe it or not everything went by the numbers pretty much.


Sun Jan 29, 2017 5:43 pm View user's profile Send private message
Neonin
BR (Barrel Rank) 5
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Joined: 15 Nov 2006
Posts: 2376
Location: Wolverhampton, UK

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Oh, and if the ranks people are getting stuff sounds weird to you fellow XCOM players it's because I modded the ranks to:

Rookie - Private
Squaddie - Private First Class
Corporal - Lance Corporal
Sergeant - Corporal
Lieutenant - Sergeant
Captain - Tech Sergeant
Major - Gunnery Sergeant
Colonel - Master Sergeant
Sun Jan 29, 2017 5:48 pm View user's profile Send private message
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